Thoughts on January 19, 2021

This week I am feeling nostalgic, sad, disappointed & angry. Angry about the attack on the Capitol building. Disappointed that our country is so divided that it’s hard to be optimistic. Sad for the people who are not able to be joyful & celebrate their achievements. Sad for those who have lost loved ones to the pandemic. Disappointed that our traditional peaceful & dignified displays of the transfer of power have been tossed aside. Disappointed that crowds of well-wishers & peaceful protestors can’t be on the National Mall. Instead, there will be walls & soldiers. Nostalgic for the time I got to spend being part of an inauguration celebration.

Twelve years ago, Ray & I were in Washington DC for the inauguration of Barack Obama. My sister, Kathleen, lived in DC & called me on the night of the election. She excitedly invited us to stay in her tiny apartment & take part in the festivities. How could we pass up this opportunity?

Both of us got a few days off work & I promised to share the experience with my students through posts & emails. I set up an interview with Ethan Forhetz of KY3 News while we were in DC. I was excited & hoped that my students would realize the importance of this event.

We got our tickets to fly in on the Friday before the inauguration. Our flight was from North Arkansas Airport on US Airways to Charlotte, NC & then to Dulles Airport. We got to Charlotte & found out that we were a tangential part of the “Miracle on the Hudson” story. That happened the day before & the airline was short a plane & crew which caused multiple delays.

On Saturday we joined the crowds touring around the capitol building. We couldn’t get right up to the stands but were close. The people were bundled up against the cold & kept the vendors busy selling coffee & souvenirs. I have no idea how many pictures I took for groups so they could all be in the picture. Lots of smiling & laughing folks.

Sunday’s big event was a concert at the Lincoln Memorial. That was the biggest crowd I have ever been in! The only police I saw were telling people to get out of the trees & off the top of the port-a-potties. The only protestors we saw were the Westboro Baptist folks & there were only a few of them. People were happy to be part of an event that was so optimistic. If you want to experience what I mean, find the HBO “We Are One” concert. It was quite a rush!

We got to be tourists & see many of the wonders of art, history & nature in museums & galleries. Washington has a wealth of ways to spend your time & money. The TV interview was fun & folks back home enjoyed it.

Tuesday was Inauguration Day. We did not have tickets to anything so wound up quite a way back from the capitol. The crowd was larger than the concert but was spread out more along the mall. Big screens showed what was going on & we huddled against the cold wind. I was standing beside sisters who were incredibly happy to be there. They were older African American ladies bundled up in their boots, fur coats & hats. Tears of joy & shouts of hallelujah proclaimed their happiness & wonder. Several times they told us “oh, I never thought I would see this day!” I know that was true for most of the folks in DC.

I also know it was true for thousands of other people, but in a negative light. Never thought they would have a black president. Many believed the lies about Obama that were spread by influential people. I am sad that those levels of hatred have been encouraged & stoked by any number of people through social media, television & radio, rallies & rafts of mailings, articles & rants.

I still feel that we were part of a wonderful historical event that should have inspired an ongoing era of growth & progress for the United States. I’m disappointed that the optimism on the National Mall that day did not live on. I’m sad that my generation did not hold on to leadership & work toward passing the torch to a new generation.  

Here’s the link if you want to see more about our adventure. http://www.quirkysuz.com/DCblogs.html Some of the links don’t work but you can go online & find more information.

The flags & lights that fill the National Mall this week are beautiful & peaceful. I hope that the mall once again becomes the country’s meeting place for events large & small. I hope there will be more smiles than snarls. I hope there will be more celebrations than protests. We need more plowshares and fewer swords.

Everyone needs to sit down, take a deep breath & ask yourself “What can I do to make a positive difference?”  

Etsy listing available in my shop

Check out this item in my Etsy shop https://www.etsy.com/listing/791173472/tea-cozy-party-paper-doll

A Celestial Summer

Written August 2018

2017 was a summer that will live on in the hearts and minds of this family. Its roots go back several decades.

Scientists used calculations and star charts to determine years in advance that a total solar eclipse would happen on August 21^st. I admire stars and the universe but really cannot comprehend the science needed to be so definitive.

Three decades ago, the Cottle Ranch was settled by a young family who anticipated working hard to create a true family home. They had no idea of the cosmic future of the house on Highpoint Lane.

Sometime in the previous five decades or so, a timebomb was planted in Brian’s brain. Nobody can clearly say when and why Alzheimer’s strikes, but that comet came crashing into the Cottle clan in 2012.

He fought it, but now the warrior is no more. Now Brian lays quietly in his bed waiting for his body to surrender and realize the battle is drawing to a close.

“It’s a lovely day in June. The sky is really blue with just a few puffy clouds. The folks across the road have mowed again. It looks nice and Alfa would be proud of how her place looks.” I talked quietly, saying nothing of real importance as I sat beside Brian and gazed out the window. His bright eyes had dimmed, the hand I held was very thin and his gray curls were crushed in the pillow.

“It’s a lovely Tuesday morning. I’m going home today, but I’ll be back on Thursday. I need to work on my garden and get some things together. I’m not sure if you will know when I come back, but I will be back.” There was no obvious reaction to my statement and I knew that his light might be completely gone when I returned.

“It’s a beautiful Thursday evening. Ray sends his love. The sunset is going to be very pretty, but we sure could use some rain.” Before I walked in the room, the hospice nurse whispered, “It will happen tonight.” She had said that several times before.

“It’s another lovely Friday in June. The gravel road sure is dusty and the trees are covered in powder. I think your neighbor is mowing again! Would you like some music? Alexa, play songs by The Eagles. Lower the volume.” Amelia is trying to rest as she holds Brian’s hand. She monitors his breath and heartbeat. They are slower, but his powerful body just doesn’t give up.

We wait. Visitors come by quietly to say farewell. Chris and Kayla sit with Brian. They take turns choosing songs to play. It’s quiet enough that we don’t hear the music as we sit on the porch. It’s a lovely spot to visit, have a drink and contemplate the cosmos. We wave at cars driving by and Midget barks at the bicyclists. Time is moving slowly.

“It’s a lovely Saturday morning. The forecast is for rain and storms tonight. We really do need the rain.” Brian’s breathing is slower and raspy. His heartbeat can be felt through his Strike Out Alzheimer’s t-shirt. He is exhausted. Amelia and Chris are existing and waiting.

Brian’s brother stops by to let the family know that his grandchild will be born today. That is the story of the cosmos – birth and death dance together.

“It’s a lovely Saturday afternoon.” Heartbeats, breaths and songs are the sounds of the late afternoon. Ramble On, Runnin’ With the Devil, House is a Rockin’, Walk on the Wild Side.

The son tells his father that it’s OK to go. We find ourselves breathing slowly, exhaling tension and breathing in acceptance.

Seven minutes is long for a rock song. Crashing waves…. Haunting notes……. Lightning….. Thunder……….. “Into this house we’re born, into this world we’re thrown, like a dog without a bone, an actor out on loan”

“Girl you gotta love your man, girl you gotta love your man, take him by the hand, make him understand, the world on you depends, our life will never end, gotta love your man”

“Riders on the storm” Tinkling piano. “Riders on the storm” Raindrops. “Riders on the storm” Heavier rain. “Riders on the storm” Waves and lightning crash. One last wave.

One last breath.

We looked at each other in awe. “Whoa. Wow. Oh,” comes out in a whisper.

That night thunder rolled and lightning crashed around the Cottle Ranch with strong winds and heavy rain. Amelia slept through it all. She had ridden the storm that mattered.

Two months passed. More thunderbolts and comets were flung at us. Determination, fortitude and love kept us together. Songs became anthems of survival. “I got a room at the top of the world tonight, I can see everything tonight, I got a room where everyone, can have a drink and forget those things, that went wrong in their life” “I got a room at the top of the world tonight and I ain’t coming down, I ain’t coming down.”

We gathered on the porch of the Cottle Ranch. It’s a lovely spot to visit, have a drink and contemplate the cosmos. We wave at cars driving by. They are searching for a spot to pause and look up. Roxie and Midget bark at the bicyclists. Through some celestial synchronicity Highpoint Lane is on the line of totality for the solar eclipse.

As the sun crept toward the predicted place in the sky, we waited and marveled. How did Brian and Amelia pick this house out of all the possible locations? They didn’t know then how much impact this celestial event would have on our hearts, but they chose well.

The sky began to darken. Solar lights twinkled on. Evening insects began chirping. As the sun disappeared another chorus started.

“Whoa. Wow. Oh,” echoed around the neighborhood.

It was a celestial summer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The last songs & songs after:

4:44pm         Ramble On Led Zeppelin

4:48pm         Kashmir Led Zeppelin

4:56pm         Sultans of Swing Dire Straits

5:02pm         House of the Rising Sun The Animals

5:07pm         Runnin’ With The Devil Van Halen

5:12pm         House is a Rockin’ Stevie Ray Vaughan

5:17pm         White Room Cream

5:18pm         Pinball Wizard The Who

5:21pm         Walk on the Wild Side Lou Reed

5:25pm         Riders On The Storm The Doors

 

5:52pm         Amie Pure Prairie League

5:56pm         Remember Harry Nilsson

6:31pm         Amie Pure Prairie League

6:36pm         Room At The Top Tom Petty

6:41pm         Time In A Bottle Jim Croce

6:46pm         If Bread

6:49pm         End of the Line Traveling Wilbury’s

6:54pm         Why Worry Dire Straits

7:58pm         Ramble On Led Zeppelin

 

A Story of Three Days and Two Good Men

August 2018

Summer 2017 was an interesting lesson in survival, coping with loss and celebrating lives well lived. A phone call came with devastating news on Monday and another came on Wednesday with sad, but not unexpected, news. The two men were part of my extended chosen family. As those three days turned into weeks and months, I reflected on how much they were similar rather than their differences.

Walt Bancroft came into my life when I was in elementary school. His wife, Alice, was the local librarian. She was one of the first friends Mom made when we moved to Missouri. Soon, Walt and Alice were frequent visitors, often enjoying pie and coffee with my folks. Collaborations on quilts and construction projects carried through several decades. Our families shared good times and sad times.

Tony Walker became a friend when he and his drum kit joined The Ariels with Ray, Bear, David and Gary. Soon, his drumming became a familiar rhythm in our lives and we were together on many happy occasions. He could pick up any instrument and play it. There are hundreds of people who got to know Tony through music and his circle of friends was always growing.

Both men were tall and usually dressed in denim and boots. Tony’s long legs could dance or drum or work in his blue jeans. I have seen pictures of Walt in something other than overalls, but those Big Smiths will always be the picture in my mind.

What else could a World War II veteran and a rock and roll drummer possibly have in common? Far more than that simple description would lead you to believe.

Walt married Alice Marie when he was twenty and she was still in high school. It was WWII and they prayed he would survive to come home and grow a family. He did, and they celebrated their 74^th anniversary only two days before Walt died. They often said God made them for each other.

Tony and Lana married when Tony was 29. He came into a family with teenaged daughters and an extended clan that grew quickly. Their son, Joel, grew up tall and lanky, with drumsticks in his hands that beat rhythms just like his dad. Thirty years together should have extended to many more. Saying “Lana” without “Tony and” will always be a challenge.

If Lana and Alice met to talk about their husbands, the topics would likely be family, food and family again. They both know they were fortunate to have good men as their partners.

Construction and woodworking are another common factor. Both built homes for their families with room for family and friends to gather together. Sometimes work took them away, but their hearts were happiest at home. Walnut, cedar and other woods were made into gifts and finished to perfection with callused hard-working hands. Their legacies live on in very tangible ways.

If a baby was around, goofy smiles creased these guys’ faces. Watching big hands holding tiny babies always made me smile too. They loved on grandchildren and great-grands and taught them life lessons along with having fun.

I don’t believe Walt ever used foul language, but he loved good stories and funny jokes. Tony’s laugh echoed out in response to puns, dirty jokes and bawdy stories and he knew a few to share.

Walt never went to bars and I don’t know if Tony ever went to church, but if they had met at a craft fair selling their creations, I think they would have gotten along well.

Both liked to travel, but after coming home from the war, Walt would not fly. After the kids were grown, Walt bought a travel trailer, so he and Alice could have adventures together. It’s possible that the couples crossed paths in a campground in the Ozarks. Tony’s happiest times were with his big family on a lake or a ski slope. Tony and Lana were anticipating more travel together and times to enjoy their kayaks and camping. The last weekend Tony was with his family was spent on the water and under the stars.

Caring and sharing their talents is another commonality. Tony played in numerous benefit concerts and helped out folks in Eureka Springs. Walt helped build many community gathering places, churches and homes. He was especially proud of the Disabled American Veterans’ Center in Buffalo, Missouri. His family carries on helping veterans, because that is what Dad did. Walt’s last outing was at this building with his extended family.

If we were playing “Six Degrees of Separation” Tony’s list of musicians that he drummed with would be a winning resource. Another part of the list would be people he met in Eureka Springs as he worked at the Auditorium and other venues during concerts. Let’s just say Willie Nelson and Vince Gill as examples.

Walt’s list wouldn’t be as extensive, but one encounter created a story enjoyed by many. In World War II, he spent time in England at a base where Princess Elizabeth worked as a mechanic with the Auxiliary Territorial Service. Someone thought it would be funny if an Iowa farm boy danced with a princess. Since Elizabeth was barely five feet tall and Walt was over six feet, it probably was an amusing sight. I’d love to see a picture of that!

Both men lost loved ones to tragedy, disease and age. They knew how to grieve and how to carry on with life. Their families draw on those lessons now.

The Wednesday call was about Walt. He was 94 years old with dementia and had been in a care facility for several years. Alice heard him pray for release and prayed with him. She didn’t want to lose her beloved Walter but knew the time had come.

Monday’s call was completely unexpected. Tony was 59. Nobody was prepared for such a stunning loss. Saying hearts were ripped out is as good a description as I can muster. Lana was hit with a huge comet out of nowhere. She has friends and family to lean on and who lean on her in return.

These good men are remembered with love by a wide circle of friends and family. They will live on through their children and grandchildren and the life lessons shared. I remember them with love and know I am especially fortunate because I knew them both.

 

Last Year

November 23, 2017

Today is the first Thanksgiving Day without my mother. Not the first that I haven’t been with her, because there have been some, it’s the first without her. She is missed and we won’t even have the traditional dinner today. That is by choice. Several of my siblings will gather on Saturday for food and love. Today we are scattered physically, but the love that Mom and Dad built for us, and with us, will always hold us together.

My Kansas family has a tradition of the family circle whenever we are together. That circle can be large or small, but there is always love flowing through those clasped hands. The circle grows and contracts over the years and that is how it should be.

For several of my friends and family this is their first holiday after losing a spouse. How do you not feel that loss in a more poignant way on a day like this? That person had a role in the festivities, who takes it on? Which widow feels it more? The one who had five years to prepare or the one who had five minutes? Is there a system of how much or how little to talk about the loss that the rest of the group needs to know about? No, there isn’t. We all fumble through and bumble some things. If you feel that you have been insensitive, acknowledge it and offer comfort however you can.

Is a parent’s grief and longing different when their child can’t come home or is the won’t come home child more keenly missed? The parent who watches their child suffer a loss is burdened with multiple layers of emotions. Compassion cannot extend only one direction. Reach out!

There are gains in life as well. New spouses, lovers, babies, friends, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, cousins and multitudes of other relationships are being enjoyed around tables today. Sometimes it is hard to see the connections; sometimes death and birth happen at either end of a storm bringing joy to go with the tears. A missed opportunity being recovered years later could bloom in a family even as a phone call brings news of a loved one ripped away.

Love and laughter, heartache and joy, tears and smiles, longing and treasuring, wishing and knowing, chattering and silence, music and weeping, solitude and hugging, full and empty, past and future are all vital parts of life.

So, my dear ones, clasp hands, know you are at the top of the world and live, live, live, love, love, love!

A toast – To family and friends; past, present and future!

After 30 Years

March 29, 2017

Berryville Public Schools

Dear Board Members,

Since October 1987, it has been my privilege to teach United States History and other social studies classes at Berryville High School. I’ve worked with many administrators, fellow teachers, staff and thousands of students. Entire families and into the second generation have made their way through my classroom. It is unusual to spend thirty years at one school and even more unusual to stay in the same classroom!

When I think back to the first uncertain days, it surprises me that people trusted me with such an important role. I was not a certified teacher and had doubts that teaching was what I was meant to do as a career. With a lot of support, I finished the certification and built up confidence in my work. I’ve had many wonderful opportunities because I became an educator. All these years later, I’m certain that I wound up in the right place.

But, the time has come to move on. Family concerns and other interests need my time and energy. My husband, Ray Vader, has been retired for almost five years and we look forward to adventures together. There are also volunteer activities to explore and enjoy.

This is my official notice of retirement at the end of this school year. I know that I will miss this job, the people I have worked with and teaching my favorite subject. I have assured Owen and David that I will help with the new high school project in any way that I can. You may also count on my support for district programs and progress.

Though I won’t be at BHS regularly, I will always be a Bobcat at heart.

Sincerely,

Suzanne M Miner

Let’s Try This Again!!

I’m back to share life stories with whoever chooses to read them. I’ll post several things that might not be in chronological order, but time to get back on this path.

Blog Slacker

Is there a term for a blog writer who doesn’t write often enough? I had good intentions, but I kept putting things off & thinking I would write later. Now, here I am a year after starting this thing & have only a few posts. I do admit that procrastination & lack of follow through have plagued me through much of my life.

On Sunday, I finished my business bookkeeping for 2011 & did our taxes.  That’s right, folks, February 5th! Overcoming the fear of doing them myself was resolved last year with H&R Block software & online support. Now we are waiting for our refund to be deposited. Plans are afoot for home & yard improvements! I will take pictures!

I hereby resolve to get with it!

Timing & Yarn

Today I played hooky! I had an eye appointment planned but it didn’t work out. The planned appointment coincided with my mother’s birthday, so north I had to go!

I figured it would be a good day to explore a few flea markets on the way, check out the yarn store at Nixa that I still haven’t visited & maybe shop for a few spring clothes. An early start would help with the plan. It didn’t happen.

Finally got on the road & enjoyed seeing all the dogwoods in bloom along the roads with the multitude of shades of green in the grasses & trees. Have I mentioned that spring in the Ozarks is one of my favorite things?

With one thing & another, I didn’t get to Springfield until late afternoon, so I decided to visit A New Yarn in the Brentwood Center. Apparently it has been open a while, but I’d missed it. Nice place! Friendly people & beautiful yarns. I did resist some, but got some necklace materials.

But, the most wonderful thing was seeing one of the people who most influenced my teaching career! Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a customer come in who clearly was a regular & knew the ladies sitting up front knitting. She then went to look at the needles & the owner asked if she could help Meredith find something. I looked up & it was Dr. Meredith Adams!

She was my absolute favorite college professor! (Sorry other guys, I liked many of you too.) I told her my name & she seemed to remember me. We chatted for a minute & then I went on to check out & she went to look at patterns for a lace shawl. That’s way beyond my knitting skill level! I never knew she was a knitter & I wasn’t  one in college. What a lovely encounter!

So, Dr. Meredith Adams, I thank you for your inspiration & love of history that I have used in my teaching. I took every class that she taught & really wished there had been more. Western Civ, Women’s Studies & German History & then, WHAT???? No more classes with Dr. Adams? I enjoyed her genial attitude & her wry humor kept me interested & wanting to learn more social history. The measuring tape demonstration for 18″ waists is one I borrowed from her.  Later I had classes with her husband & Dr. David Adams was on my master’s committee. His sense of humor & style also provide examples for me to use.

If I had done the other things planned & gotten an earlier start, I would have missed this moment. I’m so glad I didn’t miss it!

It’s Good to Have Friends & Clients

If you are lucky, you have people who come into your life & make a difference in a multitude of ways. Encouragement, inspiration, trust, sympathy, empathy, laughter, shared rage, doubts, joy, etc………………………..

I’m lucky to have The Lady Sharon from Birmingham! We spent several years together teaching & sharing interests outside of school. She was one of my first repeat jewelry customers & has been very supportive of my efforts. So I thought I would share some of our journey as designer & client.

As I started taking a serious approach to making jewelry, people saw what I was wearing & expressed interest in buying things or having me make a custom piece for them. Sharon had an arrowhead that a student gave to her & she wanted to be able to wear it & honor the memory of that teaching experience. We discussed a few ideas & I went to work.

I get a kick out of seeing this one & knowing what I would do differently now. But, it was special & Sharon wears it with pride

Then a necklace for her daughter’s Christmas gift.

And another….

Then a request that really scared me! Sharon’s father was a SeaBee in the Pacific during World War II. He brought home several beads & a cat’s eye shell that is a beautiful green with gold accents. She wanted me to make it into a necklace that would really show it off. Yikes! What if I broke it? How do I get it to hang without putting a hole in it? What other beads will coordinate with her pieces? What if I break the shell????

After searching for the right colors & trying various strategies, I made a nest of gold wire that is epoxied to the back of the shell. Gold mother-of-pearl rectangles with green accents & India glass beads brought it all together. I was pleased with the results & Sharon was THRILLED! Tears, even. Is there a better compliment on that kind of job?  I loved doing that one! The history behind it was really special & I will tell you about another WWII piece later on.

Next was a necklace of Venetian glass beads that had been broken for a long time. First I put in on silk cord with a pearl clasp. It was too short & the clasp was hard to deal with.

Then I put it on wire with seed beads between each glass one in place of the knots. A ring & toggle clasp is easier to fasten. But it still didn’t look right & was a strange length……

Cut apart again, took artistic license & added some blue beads that are the same color as the accents in the Venetian beads. Put large seed beads between the glass in front & smaller ones at the back. But, would she appreciate the blue? Yes, she did! I think it looks great & Sharon is happy to have another reclaimed treasure.

Sharon retired & I miss seeing her & sharing all those things mentioned at the top of this post. Thank goodness for the internet & email! This was her retirement present, titled “May All Your Pencils Be Black” in honor of her years as an English teacher.

What will be next in this adventure? I’m looking forward to it!

Check out Sharon’s publishing website: http://happenstancebooks.com/